The DM Debate: Creepy or Expected?
“Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me.” Are DMs saucy or creepy? Tea explores.
The richness of Kim Possible’s adage extends to the holy and consecrated ground that is our Instagram DMs. The direct modes of communication by means of Instagram DMs are always readily available for anyone and everyone to use.
Want to pitch me a swanky pyramid scheme, sell me gummy bear flavoured tummy teas or sprinkle a bit of self-promotion for your motivational vlogs? Hit a button and you’re in. Most notably, our personal online spaces are open to the unsolicited advances from people trying to shoot their shot.
And hey, ain’t nothing wrong with shooting one’s shot – however, let’s investigate the appropriateness of doing so through the DMs. To make this interesting, I’m going to play a douchey devil’s advocate for both viewpoints and then leave it up to you to decide which side you most align with. If you want, you can even DM us which perspective you agreed with. Oh, and if anyone was wondering it’s always a hard-pass on the diarrhoea-inducing teas. Always.
How many successful love stories start in the intimate nook of direct messages? Well according to those “he slid into my DMs and the rest was history” tweets, I’m confident it’s roughly around the 97% mark. News flash: Nobody meets in real life. And the 3% that do, do so in a bingo hall on a Wednesday afternoon…This is a new age of dating. Gone are the days of yore where you were not seen as an incomprehensibly deranged creep for approaching another human in the physical realm. Ew, can you believe, no?
The love stories of the past would look wildly different in today’s marvellous world of modern-day mating. For one, Romeo and Juliet meet on Tik Tok. And the only ‘transparent’ thing Cinderella left lying around for the prince to find is her Snapchat code. The times are different, so why shouldn’t we be able to utilise the DMs to meet potential partners?
Plus, shooting one shot in the very public comment section under someone’s mirror selfie is a sure-fire way of receiving a healthy dose of public humiliation. Might as well write ‘reject me’ on your forehead in bright red marker pen. Whereas the DMs allows the possibility of an ethical and private rejection. Moreover, the block button is a wonderful button to help fend off advances that are just plain aggressive. All in all, why shouldn’t DM’s be seen as an acceptable method of getting yourself a potential bae, if anyone even uses that term anymore?
There is absolutely no need for you to be shooting anything, let alone a shot in my DMs. Who invited you here? It sure as hell wasn’t me. With the ubiquitous nature of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and other two syllabled dating apps, it’s perplexing why anyone would attempt to budge their way into the private messages of a non-dating app. Especially when the apps that are designed for dating reassure you that the other person is also interested – reducing the chances of rejection exponentially. Direct messages are a safe space reserved for people you know and like…to a certain degree. Hence, it should not be common practice to jump into another person’s DM unprovoked.
Additionally, the typical culprit of DM intrusion tends to be heterosexual cis males who are, for the lack of a better word, deranged and creepy. Oops, that’s two words. Also, more often than not their opener tends to be some form of sugar daddy type proposition. Far from the well-adjusted, friendly person, who’s got with a great relationship with their mum, that most women are looking for. So no, don’t DM me. Download Tinder…and if I don’t match with you, again, don’t find me then DM me.
*Places the sassy tone in back pocket* Now that’s over, which side are you leaning more towards? Personally, I don’t mind strangers shooting their shots. But then again, most of them get deleted within 3-5 working days. So it’s probably not the best strategy.